Note: I wish that I had written this post sooner, and the ideas for it have been rattling around my head for days, but life tends to get in the way. This post ended up being much longer than I had originally intended and more personal than anything than I've written up to this point, but I hope that you can take the time to read it and feel a little bit of what I've been feeling.
Much has been said and written about President Gordon B. Hinckley in the days since his passing. In that time I've experienced a wide range of emotions and feelings. Perhaps this is best illustrated through a series of stories.
The News
We first heard of the death of President Hinckley that Sunday night around 8:30pm. Andrew and Brian (my brothers) were at our place and the four of us (the fourth was Jennifer) were playing Apples to Apples. My Aunt Debbie called to let us know. I quickly turned around and dialed my parents. While my phone was dialing somebody made the comment that we should probably confirm it before passing along the news (not that we didn't believe Debbie but interesting rumors can get started this way). We then started laughing at the thought of President Hinckley getting up in April General Conference and saying something to the effect of "I've heard that there have been some rumors lately that I'm dead. I'm here today to set the record straight."
At that we were all busting up. Andrew, Brian and Jennifer ran upstairs to try to get the KSL or other local news website up which they couldn't cause everybody else in the church was doing the same thing. And while we were still laughing, my parents picked up. I felt a little bad about passing along the sad news between laughs, but in some ways it was fitting tribute to a man that never took himself too seriously and always had a twinkle in his eye.
G. Don Gale later wrote in the Deseret News "President Hinckley's sense of humor was legendary. He had that twinkle in his eye that said: Let's not be overly serious here; life is meant to be enjoyed." (If you didn't read it, I recommend the rest of the article as a better written tribute to President Hinckley than mine.)
After we finally confirmed the news (Andrew and Brian thought to look at Wikipedia which had been updated) and I was finally able to get the KSL website up on my phone enough to see the top story about President Hinckley, we sat for a moment, and then continued our game. I sat there and thought that it was sad, but the Church would move forward, President Hinckley was done with his mortal probation and was now with his wife.
At some point that evening I also realized that since Jennifer and I had renewed our temple recommends earlier that evening, that only a few dozen minutes before his death, Jennifer and I had had one last opportunity to declare to our Priesthood leaders and the Lord that we sustained our dear prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley.
The Week
For most of the week I was almost annoyed each day at the news coverage. It felt almost cheap in some ways. I know that the news people are doing their job, but to put a tagline on it ("Passing of a Prophet" was KSL's I think) seemed a bit crass to me and so I largely ignored much of the news coverage since it almost felt disrespectful. I know that it wasn't intended that way nor was it handled disrespectfully nor do I think any of them did a poor job covering his passing, but that was how I felt.
The Funeral
When Saturday came, I wanted to watch the funeral on TV. Since we were watching at home, the boys were running around and the mood wasn't terribly reverent throughout the first parts but it was nice to hear the different people speak and share their memories of President Hinckley. About half way through was Alex's nap time so after he went to bed, things were a little calmer and I actually got to sit and watch President Monson's talk. And then the choir started singing "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need" (lyrics below) and a video presentation of President Hinckley started.
As the images and videos of President Hinckley's long and fruitful life flashed before my eyes and the beautiful strains of the choir rose, all of my emotions collided with the Spirit and tears came. The reality that he was gone was more than my mortal body could contain. I was surprised by the sudden rush that overcame me. And it was everything, powerfully, all at once; the sadness at our loss as a Church and as individuals, the happiness of knowing he was now reunited with Marjorie, the surety that the Gospel is true and that the Church would go forward stronger for him having been a part of the work and the knowledge that "things will work out." And more than all that, it was the Spirit testifying to me that Gordon B. Hinckley is a prophet of God and that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is real and true.
I hope that I never forget how I felt.
The Rest
On the route from the Conference Center to the cemetery, many people gathered to say goodbye by waving canes and handkerchiefs. I started to think "what might be another way for us to honor President Hinckley?" I thought "I should read the Book of Mormon before the 98th anniversary of his birthday (June 23, 1910). " Others came up with a similar idea (others who have more free time than I) for the Hinckley Challenge, to read the Book of Mormon in 97 days (before May 10th).
Whatever you choose to do to pay tribute, do something, however small and private or large and public.
A Memory to Share
One last thing. Another idea I had was to share a President Hinckley related memory. So here is the one that I thought of.
Following a session of General Conference as a teenager (and this was in Illinois so we were at the chapel and before Pres. Hinckley was the prophet), my dad and I were discussing the talks as we were packing up the projector. I mentioned that I liked President Monson's since he always used stories which made it interesting and kept my attention. My dad said that he always enjoyed President Hinckley's talks because he had a way of articulating his thoughts that he really liked. Those aren't my dad's exact words, but it was what I took from it that day. At the time I think I kinda blew it off, but from that point on I start to pay more attention to him at conference and came to look forward to what President Hinckley had to say at conference.
Tagging
I'm going to try starting a blog tag. I've never started one before nor directly participated in one, so we'll see how well this works out.
How it works is that I will tag 5 bloggers who will share a memory about President Hinckley and then they will tag 5 others. It's kinda like a chain letter, but you might be an active participant and without the threat of death or some other horrible fate. Also, if your blogging software includes support for labels or tags, label your post with "President Hinckley Memory".
To tag someone, you put a link to their page on your post (like I have below) and then leave a comment on their blog referencing your post (so they know that they've been tagged). So here is who I tag:
Jeff - my brother
http://jclement.blogspot.com/
Angela Gappmayer - my cousin
http://gappfam.blogspot.com/
Angela already shared a President Hinckley memory, but I'm going to ask that she tag others!
http://gappfam.blogspot.com/2008/01/president-hinckley.html
Amber Anderson - my cousin
http://amberjakefam.blogspot.com/
Andrew Jenson - one of my best friends
http://www.eleventhirteen.org/blog/13
Jon Turner - one of my best friends
http://jonathanandmelinda.com/blog/
The Song
Here are the lyrics to "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need". I didn't really hear the words at the funeral. While I enjoy performing vocally and listening to vocal music, I'm still an instrumentalist at heart and the music, for me, is still the heart of any piece, regardless of the words. But the words and the music work together to convey a message so here they are:
My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy's sake,
In paths of truth and grace.
When I walk through the shades of death,
Thy presence is my stay;
A word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.
The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.
(Text by Issac Watts - found here)
President Hinckley was always the 'best in class' DeseretNews.com
Hundreds wave Pres. Hinckley's cortege along city streets DeseretNews.com
